Evidence the world is fucking crazy, Part I
Small piece of background: I have a degenerative nerve disorder of some kind that Dr.s really can't figger out. Result is that over the last four years I've gone from very occasionally having pain in my left foot to currently having my lower left leg and foot in constant pain, even with painkillers. So, as part of my treatment, I have a pain management Dr. that I have to go through. ok, background bit done, let's see what bearing this has in the world being completely wholesale, costco-sized, ten-for-a-dollar nuts.
Over the last two weeks I've had massive pain spikes. the kind that prohibit sleeping, period. So, rather than exceed my pain med prescription (because if I do that, they will not refill early as part of the 'non-abuse contract' that you have to sign prior to treatment) I call and make an emergency appointment to see about getting a cortizone injection, or SOMETHING to help with this. The office is cool and gets me in the next day.
So, next day, get in to the examining room and the Dr. comes in. First thing he says 'so did your guys win?' and I sit there baffled, thinking he's talking sports (which I don't pay attention to) and say 'excuse me?' He responds with 'the election, did your guys win?'
Now, in the back of my head a red light goes off thinking this is innappropriate to be asking me prior to treatment, but I ignore it and say 'well the presidental is a red devil, blue devil equation that due to the electoral system I have little to no control over, so I was more concerned on the state initiatives and how those did.' He presses me for whether I was 'happy' with the outcomes, and I say 'yeah some of them... I was happy the stem cell one went through'
He stiffens up and says "well, you shouldn't be!" He then starts talking about the 'real' financial cost of the proposition, and the fact that better results come out of VC-funded research, that there's no checks and balances or public accountibility in the measure... and I'm listening, very interested because he's a Dr. and I'm interested in what a member of the medical community has to say.
He segues from the financial aspect of it into the "well, you know what the initative is actually FOR, right?" and proceeds to tell me that my perceptions are completely wrong. That the proposition is actually for human cloning (which it specifically says in the proposition that it is NOT for) and that they are going to create embryonic clones, which they will then place in 'host' women, which will carry the babies to almost full term, at which point the babies will be removed prematurely and their kidney, for example, will be removed and transplated into an adult, killing the baby.
at this point, I'm flipping out.
2 reasons. One this guy is giving me medical treatment. giving me medications to use off-label, such as epilepsy meds, because it 'may help' the nerve issue. He's recommending these kind of things and yet is spouting the kind of removed-from-reality extreme xtian fundie boogeyman scenarios that you associate with Jimmy Swaggert, not a medical professional who is supposed to be guided by science. Second, due to the 'non-abuse contract' this guy is my SOLE source for pain meds. If he doesn't auth my refill, I have NO pain meds and can't get any more. At lease not without changing every Dr. I have which is not a quick and/or easy prospect. So, I've got this frozen smile on my face, nodding politely, freaking out internally. I say "ok, well I'm experiencing a lot of pain beyond normal" and he finally gets on to the treatment thing, but his disposition to me has notablly changed.
So we're going through things and he's getting on me saying that I've been on pain meds too long (which I agree with) and that I need to get off them (which I also agree with). I tell him this and say "look we have a short term issue and long term issue. Short term, I'm in massive pain, long term we need to find the cause of this, and I need YOUR help getting written referrals that I can give my insurance company so I can fight with them to get authorization for a new neuro and othro Dr."
His reaction is to blow this off saying I don't need him to do that, that I can fight the insurance company and they will eventually cave in. Now, having had too much experience with insurance companies in trauma treatment experiences I'm thinking "you are fucking WRONG asshole" but keep my mouth shut, because, again, if I piss him off I have no meds.
He then launches back on the pain med abuse tirade and how hydrocodone is the most abused drug in america (I'm on Norco, which is like Vicodin's big angry cousin with a steel pipe and a bad temper) and I say I know this, and that's how you end up with situations like Courtney Love and Rush Limbaugh.
He FREEZES and starts saying "well Rush had REAL PAIN he needed to deal with, the only thing he did wrong was choose to treat himself rather than go through a Dr. He has to do that show day in and day out, no matter what! So, that's why he did what he did!"
And, pain meds or no, I can't keep my mouth shut. I say "Ummm, look... I'm in charge of the entire creative department at my company, I work 12-14 hours a day, and I have four kids that I am a very active parent with and spend any time I am not working with THEM. I get four hours sleep a night MAX, so sorry
I don't buy that Rush with his 3 hour radio show a day NEEDED
to do, or was right in doing what he did."
Things got very uncomfortably silent and the Dr. told me "Look you have until Dec. 30th to show me that you are getting some kind of medical progress on this issue, or I'm not going to treat you (read: give pain meds) anymore" What that translates to? *I* have to find a new ortho and neuro and I have to get my insurance, an HMO, to agree to cover it or I pay out of pocket. HE will not write referrals or help in this matter at all because it is 'not his place'.
I finally got the refill, so I'm good for 20 days, and am now calling my insurance company to report this guy and start the long process of getting auth'd for another pain treament group.
I honestly was freaked and in shock for the entire day. I still cannot believe it actually happened. It was like a bad satire of the boogyman that everyone holds uyp as the worst aspects of the right, incarnate as a living being, and HE'S my Dr.
jesus fucking christ on a pogo stick.
So, that's why there's no strip today. I'll try and make up for it over the weekend.